More couples are seeking premarital counseling. According to Health Research Funding, couples who choose premarital counseling have a higher success rate than those who do not. You cannot guarantee that you will have a happy, joyful, loving marriage for the rest of your life as factors outside of your control are at play, but what if you could be more prepared before you say, “I do?”

Premarital counseling opens doors.

Premarital counseling aims to get to the foundation of the marriage relationship. You must have a firm foundation to have a rock, solid marriage. If this foundation is rooted in Jesus Christ as the cornerstone, it will make navigating the trials and obstacles in a marriage a little easier.

Christian premarital counseling points you in that direction and equips you with communication skills. You learn more about each other’s backgrounds and how you would handle specific situations. It addresses problems and how to solve those while keeping your relationship strong.

What to expect in premarital counseling.

Most premarital counseling sessions can be divided into two to eight sessions, with an average of eight hours of counseling before the wedding. Premarital counseling should be considered before the ceremony. Sometimes the officiant will also provide premarital counseling, especially in faith-based ceremonies.

The topics in premarital counseling will vary, but the most common are listed below. You should have a good grasp of what marriage means to you and your partner and the values and expectations you have of it. You should also discuss non-negotiables. For example, if infidelity and adultery are deal-breakers, say so. Make it clear that you do not want to go into a marriage or stay in one if your spouse ever chooses someone over you.

The value of marriage.

Marriage may mean something different to your significant other, which is why premarital counseling helps provide clarity. Have you spoken to your partner about it? What was his reaction? For example, someone not excited to get married may opt to live with you for a while (maybe years) instead of getting married. He may change the subject or give vague answers when you or your family mention it.

Some people view marriage as a piece of paper. However, marriage is a covenant similar to the one God made with His people. The Bible often refers to Jesus as the Groom and the Church as His Bride. Similarly, we should view marriage between a man and a woman as a sacred covenant.

Marriage expectations.

In premarital counseling, you will discuss your expectations of household duties. Will you share chores or divide them? If one person plans to work from home, is this person responsible for also trying to keep up with household cleaning or laundry?

To some couples, chores are not a big deal, and they quickly fall into a rhythm. However, for other couples, incomplete chores can lead to arguments. Your counselor will help you come to a realistic schedule for cleaning the house, maintaining the property, and keeping up with daily tasks if this is an area where you struggle.

On a more intimate note, you want to be clear with your significant other about your expectations for sex. Intimacy is more than just the physical act of sex; intimacy is also the emotional bond between a couple. If either of you has an unhealthy view of sex (too much, too little, none at all, addictions), then this is an area to discuss with your counselor.

Future plans and financial management.

Premarital counseling also opens the door to your future plans for both people as a couple and individually. What dreams do you have of the future? Have you told your partner?

For example, do you want to return to school and finish a degree over the next five years? How will this impact your schedules, the location of where you live, and your finances? Will you want to have a child now, or wait until after you graduate and build a career, or do neither of you plan to have children? These are important questions that should be discussed before marriage.

How will you manage finances? Some couples put everything in each other’s names and share equally, including checking and savings accounts. Other couples like to keep income separate and split the bills. Do not wait until your honeymoon to discuss financial matters.

Finding premarital counseling near you.

According to Health Research Funding, as many as 44% of couples agree to premarital counseling to prepare themselves for a successful marriage. Cover your bases now and reach out to our team at McKinney Christian Counseling in Texas. We will put you in contact with a Christian counselor in McKinney, Texas specializing in premarital counseling, marriage, and traditional and blended families depending on your needs. Contact us today.

Photos:
“Dance”, Courtesy of Scott Broome, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “A Ring in the Hand”, Courtesy of Joseph Pearson, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Couple”, Courtesy of Kimi Albertson, Unsplash.com, CC0 License