The Power of Yes and No: Navigating Codependency and Boundaries

We all face different seasons and choices in life. Even in these, we have the opportunity to set aside in times of plenty to prepare for needs sure to come (Proverbs 6:6-8). Placing boundaries around how we prioritize and expend our resources has the potential to sustain us when life brings challenges or when we find ourselves victims of codependency.

Our Faithful Father furnishes us with aptitudes, abilities, and unlimited access to His Presence and wisdom concerning how to navigate each season. Through this, He teaches us that wise stewardship isn’t solely about how we use our yes, but also where we appropriate our no as well.

Though no is one of the shortest words, using it can be difficult. Though misconstrued, we who follow Jesus, need to understand the power of this small and mighty word. With it, we carve boundaries, not intended to destroy, but rather nurture connection and give our relationships a chance to flourish.

Without no, we act codependently, invariably saying yes to what things shouldn’t. Saying no protects the parameters that support our relationships with God, self, and others. Although some tend to view dissent as meanness and dismiss its use as not being Christlike, no clarifies boundaries, and expectations, and conveys value.

Having a healthy understanding and application of boundaries is essential to our well-being and vital for thriving connections with others. Christians need to have this dialogue and exercise greater ease with saying no as part of our total well-being.

We belong to Jesus, relating through the Spirit and reflecting that in how we regard our neighbor and ourselves. It may seem controversial, but our no can often be the better witness that overcomes codependent mindsets and practices. We also place boundaries on our behavior, freeing people to see and experience the power of God for themselves.

In our own lives, the Holy Spirit’s guidance into yes or no will contradict what other people, including the well-intentioned, want from us. It doesn’t mean that our friends and loved ones’ requests are impossible or unreasonable, but we may not always be willing or able to respond with resources in the ways they desire.

There will be times when no is the simplest and most appropriate answer. We cannot afford to accommodate everyone’s wishes while retaining integrity to our first Love and loyalty to our primary calling. As with anything, seeking the Holy Spirit will best navigate our direction and decisions.

We follow the Scriptures and the pattern of Jesus’ love for the Father and all people to guide our lives. Jesus experienced opposition, conflict, and transition, but didn’t waver on loyalty to His assignment. While He could have codependently adapted to what other people felt He should have been doing, He always prioritized the Father’s will.

Jesus’ example models how we can overcome codependency and shift boundaries with various relationships in different seasons. Embedded in that truth is the understanding that God’s call prioritizes our relationship with Him, even when it counters our allegiance to familiarity.

Next steps for navigating codependency

Navigating yes and no is a life skill that will serve and strengthen you, spiritually and in other areas of life. Setting boundaries may seem elusive, but it is possible to disrupt patterns that have kept you cycling in codependency. Search and schedule with a counselor on this site. Establishing and practicing skills for healthy relationships is a power move. It begins in your heart when you exercise your yes and your no.