Anger in the Bible: Mastering a Challenging Emotion

Anger is an emotion that occurs in just about every situation you can think of. Whether you’re at the grocery store, sitting at a restaurant to have dinner with your date, visiting a sick loved one in the hospital, at the school drop-off zone, or at the park walking your dog, anger isn’t far away. It can sometimes seem as though it is a living thing waiting to escape from its cage if we’re not vigilant.

Our life experiences can leave us feeling like anger is inherently dangerous. It can indeed be destructive – to our health, our relationships, and our overall well-being. Perhaps this gut reaction stems from our past brushes with anger, our own and that of others. Anger isn’t typically associated with good times, and often it’s expressed as aggression, and the emotion can end up getting conflated with this particular unhealthy expression of it.

We need to nurture a healthier relationship with our anger. It is an emotion the Lord gave us for a reason, but we must handle it wisely as part of our discipleship. Just as we’re bringing everything under the Lordship of Christ, our anger can also be submitted into His hands so that we honor Him with it.

Understanding Our Anger

Have you ever paused and asked yourself what makes you angry? For most of us, we’re often caught playing catchup with our anger in the aftermath of an ugly interaction with a loved one, colleague, or total stranger.

Because it feels unpleasant, we don’t always sit with it and try to understand ourselves and this emotion that’s inside us. What then happens is that next time, we are caught unawares yet again and feel surprised at how we overreacted.

Anger is an emotional response that’s often triggered by perceived injustices or wrongs toward us or our loved ones. For the most part, we get angry when something we care about gets threatened or misused in some way, when we feel disrespected or taken advantage of, or when our existence or livelihood is under threat. We also get angry when our pleasure and sense of identity are disrupted or challenged.

There is a sense in which anger is a natural emotion that we all experience at various points in our lives. It’s a legitimate emotion that serves us well by informing us when something in our world isn’t right. Like warning bells, an indicator light, temperature gauge, or pressure valve, your anger gives you precious signals about what’s happening in your world, and how it’s affecting you.

For instance, you can find yourself feeling angry while you’re reading your child’s bedtime story. As you reflect on it, maybe you realize that the way one character in the story is treating another is abusive, and you had just such an encounter earlier in the day with your boss. Your anger told you in that moment that you didn’t enjoy the way you were treated. The next important question is what you do with it.

For Christians, emotions such as anger are to be examined and brought under the lordship of Jesus Christ. Following the Lord is an invitation to mold any movement of heart or thought that influences us to ensure we look more and more like our Savior.

This could include getting angry, yes, but for the sake of the welfare of others and not in a selfish way. It also means expressing yourself in ways that honor the dignity of others.

The Effects of Anger on Your Life

While anger is a legitimate emotion that has a place in your life, it needs to be handled appropriately so it doesn’t leave destruction in its wake. The reality of sin in our hearts and lives means that anger can distort how we live and move.

When you’re angry, it’s easier to ascribe bad motives to others, and it’s also easier to treat others with less dignity than they deserve as creatures made in God’s image.

Anger can also lead to what the Bible calls “foolishness.” Foolishness is about living a life that’s out of step with the reality of who God is and how the world works. Something might look and feel right to you but still be out of sync with the life that God wants. As one Proverb puts it,

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly – Proverbs 14:29, NIV

Anger is a natural emotion and can be legitimate, but under the influence of sin, it can lead to folly or foolishness. Hence, people get so angry that they hurt others by physically or verbally assaulting them or get so irate over some loose change or a place in a queue that they end up destroying property. Our anger can be vastly disproportionate to its object if only we paused long enough to ask, “What am I doing? Why am I so upset at this small thing?”

It can also affect you in many different ways. Being chronically angry can lead to physical strain, causing stress and negatively affecting your health, and when  uncontrolled, can result in issues as diverse as cardiac problems, anxiety, depression, and high blood pressure.

Anger can also cause a lot of damage in relationships. You can say the worst things when you’re angry, possibly regretting it even before you said it. When you feel wronged, it can feel like a way to regain control or overcome a sense of powerlessness. When we try to correct that sense of powerlessness, anger could lead us to rely on cruel words or actions that break relationships and inflame conflict.

Uncontrolled anger can be used by the evil one to put wedges between us and other people, making it harder to be charitable toward others and affects how you interpret their actions or attempts at mending things. Resentment can hold you back from extending kindness and compassion toward others. To lean into God’s way of doing relationships, we can learn from these words:

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold – Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV

It’s wise to address anger promptly, and to not allow it to fester. It will damage relationships and be used by the devil to gain a foothold in your life.

It can also hold you back from being the person the Lord wants you to be.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. – James 1:19-21 (NIV)

Human anger doesn’t lead us to do right by others or by God. That’s because it is laced with our agendas, fears, our sometimes-warped perceptions of reality, and our sin. We need the Lord to deeply transform us so that our anger looks less and less like human anger as it typically presents itself, and it becomes the healthy emotion with healthy expressions it was always meant to have.

Managing and Overcoming Anger

Anger can master you, leading you into behaviors that harm you and others around you. There are ways that you can begin to manage it so that it’s no longer an engine that drives you and your actions. Some things to consider include the following:

Forgiveness and letting go of grudges Anger can become a burden that can slowly begin to shape every interaction. To borrow and adapt C.S. Lewis’ words from The Great Divorce, you can end up becoming a ball of anger, indistinct from this writhing emotion inside you that lashes out at everything and everyone.

Instead, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV). Seek reconciliation where possible, addressing issues gently with people who may have wronged you.

Identify your triggers Prayerfully reflect on what triggers your anger. Examine why your anger gets provoked in these situations. Acknowledge your feelings but don’t take things at surface value. Ask the Spirit to help you discern why you’re angry, and what you’re trying to protect through your anger.

Nurture virtues like patience It takes time and yielding to the leading of the Spirit to nurture patience. Anger often makes you want to act now, but self-control and patience caution otherwise. It takes remarkable trust in God to not defend yourself and leave it in His hands to handle (Romans 12:17-21).

Channel your anger positively Anger can serve as motivation for meaningful action. It can help you pursue a cause that matters to you, keeping in mind that over the long term, love is a much better motive and guide. Serve others and take the time to do things that help you to relax and de-stress.

Anger Management Therapy in Texas

Seek support Seek counsel from a mentor, join a support group, or talk with a Christian counselor in Texas who can offer you helpful support and perspective on your anger. Talking with someone can also provide you with accountability; your counselor, for instance, can walk with you to nurture your emotional health and provide you with tools for better anger management.

To learn more about mastering anger with the help of a mental health professional in Texas and to schedule your first appointment, contact us today at Texas Christian Counseling.