Kate Motaung

Depression does not always look the way people expect. Sometimes there are no signs of isolation or inability to function. For many men, depression is hidden under getting up every morning, going to work, providing for a family, and attending church. High-functioning depression has uniquely deceptive symptoms. Some men struggling with high-functioning depression can keep others at a distance, preventing people from seeing the weight that they actually carry. The performance is often convincing enough that even those closest [...]

We often think of mental health challenges as being a clear diagnosis with obvious symptoms. However, there are times when the signs are subtle. Borderline traits are one of those challenges that can exist beneath the surface, shaping relationships, emotions, and decision-making without ever being recognized for what they are. Borderline traits are often dismissed as personality, quirks, or emotional sensitivity. The person experiencing them may feel like something is off, but they don’t know how to name it. [...]

The word “family” can conjure up wildly different pictures and emotions for different people. Your experience of family shapes what you expect and desire regarding family. These experiences will vary, as some families have one parent or none; a person may be an only child or have many siblings; and the home that one grows up in might be a happy and healthy one, but it can also be extremely dysfunctional. One family situation that you could find yourself [...]

Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are commonly known as stress responses. The nervous system activates this response to protect you from danger. Unfortunately, due to daily stressors, our minds and bodies now assume danger in anything that causes worry or stress. We no longer fear apex predators; we are anxious about mortgages or rent, utilities, car payments, medical bills, student loans, work, and relationships. The body responds to these stimuli by activating the sympathetic nervous system, eliciting one or more of these responses. Understanding the responses Understanding the responses can lead to better [...]

Most parents strive to be loving, supportive, and caring to their children. They read self-help and parenting books to learn how to be the best parents they can be. They painstakingly curate friendships to help their kids thrive and run to the rescue whenever someone says something offensive to them. They may even rehearse pep talks and thoughtfully craft sentimental birthday card messages. And yet, even the most well-intentioned parents fall short of their own parenting ideals sometimes. In [...]

Family issues have a distinct way of echoing through time. Unresolved conflict, unspoken pain, or unhealthy patterns in one generation likely resurface in the next. The result is the shaping of a generation in how they understand relationships, process emotions, and view themselves. Family dynamics and mental health are connected, as seen in daily interactions. These interactions may be how they respond to stress, or the beliefs they carry about their worth in the future. Whether it is recognized [...]

As a parent, you know what it feels like to see your child upset but not know the full story. Sometimes your kid slams a door, or they just suddenly go quiet, and sometimes they just shrug and say, “I don’t care.” You know they’re not fine, but you don’t know how to reach them. Deep down, you know something is brewing. What’s really happening in those instances is more than just attitude; most times, it’s repressed anger. Anger [...]

It may seem strange to say that quiet households aren’t necessarily healthy. Homes where there are no arguments between the parents, no slamming doors, and no visible discord are often depicted as the perfect home environment. But there are times that this perfect environment feels off. There’s an unnamed uneasiness, lingering in the shadows. Adverse childhood experiences aren’t just a product of loud and volatile environments. These experiences often have roots embedded in homes where there was no conflict. [...]

There are times when grief may be experienced before there is even a loss. These forms of grief settle quietly, often long before a diagnosis is confirmed or before a loved one draws their final breath. This experience is called anticipatory grief. It is going through the process of mourning for a loss that has not yet happened. For many, it often feels heavier than the grief that will immediately follow the death. These are emotions that surface during [...]

It’s an old but powerful adage that you can’t pour out from an empty cup. You simply cannot give to others something that you yourself do not possess. Moms often have full days that require a lot from them: mediating disputes, making a dollar stretch as far as possible, feeding others and nurturing their bodies and souls, teaching, and more. Self-care for moms isn’t really an option. It’s necessary if they want to keep doing their job well. Why [...]

Have you ever found yourself jumping to the worst-case scenario before you have all the facts? Your phone rings unexpectedly late at night. Your supervisor asks if you have “a few minutes to talk.” Your child doesn’t reply to your text as quickly as usual. Your spouse answers your question briefly before walking away. Before you’ve had a chance to gather the facts, your mind has already written the story's ending. Something is wrong. I’m in trouble. They’re upset with [...]

It is in our nature to want to gravitate to the things that we enjoy, and to steer clear of those that we do not. We typically do not go out of our way to put ourselves in situations where we feel embarrassed, out of place, and not having a good time. The question is, when we experience these adverse situations, what do we do about them? Sometimes, rather than face situations head-on or enter difficult situations more than once, we retreat from them and begin to avoid them. When a situation induces [...]