Divorce In The Bible: What Does It Say?

Many people see divorce as a positive solution to a troubled marriage, but the Bible is clear that God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant relationship between a man and a woman.

It was meant to be a sacred bond based on love, commitment, and mutuality that reflected God’s love for His people, and Christ’s relationship to His church. The Apostle Paul describes this spiritual union that takes place in marriage as a “profound mystery” (Ephesians 5:31-32). Divorce was never an option.

After the fall (Genesis 3), man’s sinful nature led to widespread disregard for the sanctity of marriage, making it fall far short of God’s original plan. Husbands were being unfaithful to their wives, disrespecting and mistreating them, and even sending them away without cause so they could marry younger women.

Even though God hated divorce (Malachi 2:16), he allowed it in order to protect the disadvantaged woman from the treachery and abuse of her hardhearted husband. A certificate of divorce was instituted under Moses to diminish the injustice perpetrated against the discarded wife.

No longer could her husband just unceremoniously throw her out. He had to provide her with a legal document sanctioning the dissolution of their marriage and giving her freedom to remarry and become part of another family where she would hopefully be treated better (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). The behavior of the Israelite men angered God and He would no longer accept their offerings with favor. When they wondered why, He sent them a message through His prophet, Malachi.

Another thing you do. You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. – Malachi 2:13-16, NIV

Jesus elaborates on this in the New Testament during a discussion He had with the religious leaders of the day about marriage and divorce:

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 19:3-9, NIV

Allowance for divorce in the Bible

Infidelity. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus specifically made allowance for divorce on the grounds of adultery. This does not, however, mean that divorce should happen automatically when a spouse is unfaithful. It should only be a last resort. God’s heart is for forgiveness, reconciliation, and the restoration of the relationship.

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32, NIV

Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. The Apostle Paul allowed divorce in the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. However, the spouse’s unbelief was not to be used as a loophole to get out of the marriage.

If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. — 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, NIV

Summary

God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant relationship between a man and a woman that would be a source of joy and fulfillment to them both. When two people divorce, they are breaking the covenant they made before God and are separating what God has joined together.

Though God in His mercy made allowance for divorce under certain circumstances, it is never desirable and should always be seen as a last resort. Every effort should first be made to salvage the marriage and bring healing and reconciliation to the relationship.

Counseling can be an effective way to mediate differences, address hurt, and rebuild trust. If you have questions and/or would like to set up an appointment, please give us a call today.