Examples of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

Our relationships with other people are the places where we are often at our most vulnerable. The people we’re in relationships with see us at our best and our worst; they support us in times of trouble, and they also share in our joys. We stand alongside them when they are in need, and we share the journey of life. When those relationships are or become unsafe, that can undermine one’s well-being, especially where emotional abuse is involved.

Relationships come in different shapes; parent-child relationships, friendship, a romantic relationship, or the relationship between siblings, to name a few. These different relationships don’t all function the same way, but there are a few things that are basic to all relationships.

This includes being shown consideration, love, and respect. Our dignity and value which flows from being creatures made in God’s image (Genesis 1: 26-27) make these basics just that.

Some examples of emotional abuse

Emotional abuse manifests in a relationship in several ways. Certain patterns of relating to one another may seem natural and may have always been part of how you talk and act toward each other, but that doesn’t mean that they are normal or healthy. In other situations, those patterns may be recent developments that have begun to affect your relationship. Some examples of emotional abuse in a relationship include the following:

Withholding affection, care, and support

There are relationships in which there is a duty to care. Parents have a duty to care for, clothe, feed, educate, house, and meet the needs of their children such as the need to socialize and play with their peers.

Spouses have duties to one another, including showing affection, giving mutual support, and so on. Withholding what rightfully belongs to the other person for whatever reason is a form of emotional abuse.

Manipulation

People don’t always do what you want them to. At such times, recourse to persuasion and discussion followed by respecting their decision honors their individuality and dignity. Manipulation can occur through withholding resources, denying sex to a spouse, giving the silent treatment, and making threats to others or yourself to change the other person’s mind.

Gaslighting

This refers to when one person makes the other person feel like they can’t trust their own judgment, memory, or emotions. The gaslighter is the problem, but they make it seem as though the other person is being too sensitive, forgetful, or unthinking. Gaslighting undermines the victim’s self-confidence and ability to trust themselves.

Constant criticism

No one of us is perfect. Believing the gospel begins with acknowledging this fact (Romans 3: 23). There is such a thing as accountability and constructive criticism, and these can help us become better versions of ourselves.

However, if the predominant tone of the relationship is one of criticism, highlighting all the ways you’ve messed up or fallen short, without other elements such as support or encouragement, which is emotionally abusive. Along with constant criticism is the use of insults, bullying, making jokes at another’s expense, and otherwise denigrating them, whether in private or in public.

Anger and violence

Anger is a natural emotion that can work for our good or our ill depending on whether it is righteous or sinful. If anger is the dominant emotion in a relationship, or if it results in threats or acts of violence, or if you feel unsafe in the relationship because of expressions of anger such as shouting, it may be an example of emotional abuse.

The effects of emotional abuse

There is a sense in which people are a bit like plants and other living things; we need a healthy environment where our needs are met in order to thrive. Yes, it’s possible to be deprived of certain needs and still somehow flourish.

However, while people can be hardy and resist various deprivations, which is less than ideal. Jesus says to His disciples that to their Father in heaven, they are of more value than the birds of the air (Matthew 6: 26). God cares for His people with everlasting love.

One of the effects of emotional abuse is that it diminishes the person’s sense of self and self-worth. Instead of recognizing their value as God’s child, they begin to believe the words of insult and abuse. Emotional abuse can affect a person’s performance at work or school, limit their horizons and sense of purpose, and it can undermine their emotional and mental health.

Finding the help you need

Whatever emotional abuse you’ve received, you need to know that it is not your fault, and it is not deserved. No one deserves to be treated poorly or with disrespect. Part of your healing process lies in recovering or developing that awareness of your inherent worth. The Lord loves you with infinite love, and He desires for you to have life in abundance (John 10:10).

With the help of a Christian counselor in McKinney, Texas, you can unpack your experiences of emotional abuse and begin healing. Your counselor at McKinney Christian Counseling can help you disrupt and challenge negative self-talk and learn to speak truthfully and with love to yourself. Reach out to McKinney Christian Counseling today to connect with a Christian counselor in McKinney to begin your journey toward healing from emotional abuse.