Marriage Help: Staying Connected When Your Schedules Don’t Align

Most couples believe that part of what keeps a relationship fresh and fulfilling is spending quality time together. Therapists agree. Many counselors advise couples to prioritize date nights and shared activities as part of effective marriage help to strengthen bonds.

While this is ideal, it’s not possible for every couple. If you and your mate’s schedules simply don’t align, don’t worry. With a bit of creativity, you can still find ways to bond and strengthen your relationship, even when you’re apart.

How to Stay Connected with Your Spouse

Here are some ideas to help you connect with your partner, even when your schedules don’t align.

Scavenger hunt/love note relay

Create a scavenger hunt for your partner. Hide small gifts or clues around the house leading to a final romantic surprise. Although this thoughtful gesture will take some creativity and time, it will be a wonderful way to show your partner you are thinking about them even when apart.

Shared project

Choose a challenging puzzle to work on together. Even if you’re not in the same space at the same time, you can still collaborate on the project. If puzzles aren’t your thing, consider buying a model or craft kit to work on together. You could even start a garden and work separately to maintain it. When the harvest comes, plan to enjoy the fruit of your labor together.

Make their favorite meal

Prepare your partner’s favorite meal. Set the table with your best dishes and fresh flowers, creating a romantic atmosphere. Have soft music playing when your spouse returns home. Leave a heartfelt note relaying how you wish you could eat together and heating instructions for the meal. Even if your partner eats alone, the thoughtful gesture will keep you on their mind.

Love tokens

Create or purchase small tokens of love, such as a coin or a charm, and hide them around the house for your partner to discover. Each token can serve as a reminder of your love. It will bring a smile to their face when they find it under their favorite mug or waiting for them in the shower. You could also write and leave inspirational quotes or loving messages for your partner to find. Take turns leaving reminders of your love.

Co-author a shared diary

Maintaining a shared diary in an easily accessible marriage help where you and your spouse can write about your daily experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Each day, write about your day. Include love messages. When your partner comes home, they can read your words and contribute an entry of their own. This ongoing exchange will help you feel closer, even when you can’t be together.

Home video

Create a short video diary of your daily activities and share it with your partner. Simply send a video over text at the end of the night. They can watch it feel more connected to your daily life.

Spa night swap

Leave pampering essentials like bath bombs, face masks, and relaxing music for your partner. They can enjoy a luxurious bath or self-care routine while you’re apart. Then it’s their turn to leave you with fun surprises for your self-care routine such as a new candle, a delicious snack, and a favorite lotion. You may not be together, but you can still make each other feel loved and nurtured.

Shared blanket

You may not be able to cuddle at night, but you can still feel close to your spouse by sharing the same blanket. Use a cozy, comfy blanket on your bed and when your partner comes home, they can take a turn snuggling with it too. You will feel closer by sharing a comforting, physical object.

Remember the routine

Establishing a routine that includes your partner, even if you don’t see each other often, is an important marriage help. Set a designated time to make a connection, even if it’s just a simple text. Honor your partner by leaving a note on their pillow or making a fresh pot of coffee in the morning. These small gestures will make your partner feel special and help to maintain your connection.

Daily prayer

Deepen your relationship and your faith by maintaining a joint daily prayer routine. If you can’t connect in person or by phone, send a text to your spouse reminding them that you are praying for their needs. Alternatively, send a short, heartfelt prayer via text to help keep the spiritual connection strong.

While spending quality time together is essential for maintaining a strong and emotionally fulfilling relationship, it’s not always possible for every couple. Don’t lose hope when your schedules don’t align. With a bit of creativity and effort, you can find ways to meaningfully connect with your partner and strengthen your bond.

If you feel the need for marriage help due to mismatched schedules that are causing you to drift away from your partner, contact us at McKinney Christian Counseling to meet with a licensed therapist in McKinney, Texas. They can help you learn how to rekindle your love and make authentic connections during your busy lives.