Chances are that you’ve done this or are doing it right now: scrolling. You’re just checking your feed, right? No big deal. But before long, you begin to feel it. That little ache in your chest, or the pit of your stomach, and the faint whisper in your ear that says that you’re not as attractive or accomplished as those images on the tiny screen.

You’re certainly not thin enough after that hearty breakfast. You’re obviously not strong enough because you succumbed to checking out “his” social media again. You must not be attractive enough since all those in your social circle seem to be finding love, and you’re not. Social media often tells you that you’re not enough in some measurable way.

Social media is supposed to connect us, hence the inclusion of the word “social” in the name. And sometimes it does exactly what it is supposed to do. It brings joy, celebration, and builds community. But for many, especially women and young people, it also provides a critical mirror that distorts reality. It becomes a filter for lies and a highlight reel that confidently celebrates everyone else’s wins and quietly chips away at your self-esteem.

When life is going great, you might enjoy consuming a few images from influencers, fitness gurus, or even peeking into the lives of your most accomplished and polished friends. And there might not be any harm in doing that occasionally.

But there are times when social media can become toxic to consume. Somewhere between the endless reels and the perfectly posed selfies, your brain starts comparing. And comparison, as has been said, is the thief of joy, but it is also the thief of identity.

You were never meant to find your identity in the confusing halls of the internet or to measure yourself against others. And you certainly aren’t meant to compare your true, raw, unedited, unfiltered self against everyone else’s edited and curated version of reality. Yet here you are, holding yourself up to standards that are not rooted in reality.

Deep Roots of Insecurities

Self-image isn’t just about appearance, as is popularly believed. Self-image includes your perception of your value and your whole being, including your identity. And when social media becomes the lens through which you view yourself, you risk replacing truth with an unauthentic version of yourself.

God tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), but how quickly that truth gets buried beneath the noise of likes, views, and digital applause. You see someone else’s body, their flawless skin, their many perfect angles, and something inside of you shrinks and begins to wither. You stop seeing yourself as God sees you and start seeing yourself as less because the measuring stick by which you are comparing yourself is not one that God values.

Is this mood we develop and the self-loathing we feel from social media just a bad case of vanity? No. It’s more than that. It’s a spiritual battle. When you let the world define beauty, you forget that you were made in the image of the Creator Himself. That means that beauty is soul deep, not the superficial definition that reigns in modern society and thrives on the social.

Kindness, humility, courage, faith, compassion, and love should all be the goal, not the length of your hair or lashes. But social media rarely highlights those things that matter. Instead, it rewards what is visible and viral. And often, that doesn’t leave room for what is real and what really matters.

The Subtle Harm of Everyday Scrolling

The damage from social media is rather subtle, which is not only what sucks you in, but also what makes it most dangerous. You may not notice the impact that your scrolling has on you. But eventually it shows up in the way you glance in the mirror with a grimaced face. It surfaces when the outfit that used to make you feel confident is suddenly hated because some influencer said it was “outdated.”

It can surface when the meal you enjoyed suddenly turns to guilt in your belly because you feel unattractively overweight. Maybe it shows up in the anxiety you carry around because you may have to face the real world without your favorite beauty filter. Or maybe it surfaces in the comparison you do in your head that leads to discontent and desires to be better, hotter, or thinner.

What is wrong with you? It’s not what you think. Even with all these insults and measurements swirling in your head, there is nothing wrong with you, per se. But there is something wrong with the standards that you are trying to live up to. The only thing “wrong” with you is your thinking and the fact that you have allowed social media to influence you.

Social media often promotes body dysmorphia, perfectionism, and discontent. What’s worse is that it teaches you to curate your content, to “keep up” with all the other filtered and curated lives you see online.

This robs you of making genuine connections, being accepted in all your authenticity (flaws and all), causing you to perform instead of living. Social media praises being noticed over being known and measuring your worth in thumbs-ups and hearts rather than in the fullness of your own life.

What does God say about you?

Your body is not a problem that needs to be fixed. Of course, health matters, but so does grace. And God is far more interested in your heart than your waistline. Your body is a temple (1 Corinthians 6:19) that is meant to house the Holy Spirit.

It’s not a billboard needing approval, but a vessel for God’s glory. That means you don’t have to hate it or manipulate it for someone else’s approval. Your only obligation is to respect and keep it pure and available to act as the hands and feet of Christ.

When Jesus looked at people, He didn’t assess their jawlines, fashion sense, or Instagram aesthetics. He saw the insides. He healed the broken, touched the outcast, and lifted the unseen. That same Jesus sees you. He sees you fully, unedited and raw, and He loves you, without edits, filters, or clever hashtags.

What can you do?

If social media is starting to shape how you see yourself, it might be time to step back and answer some difficult questions:

  • Do you feel better or worse after being online?
  • Are you looking for validation or approval when you post, or are you sharing from a place of confidence, authority, and humility?
  • Is your self-worth tied to comparing yourself to others?
  • How often do you feel triggered by envy or insecurity after being on social media?
  • What would change if you truly believed what God says about you?

If the answers to these questions sting a little, you may be allowing social media and false narratives to form your self-image and rob you of your peace and joy.

Therapy Can Help

If you’ve been caught in this battle and you’re tired of fighting alone, therapy can be a powerful and helpful tool to help you reorient yourself. A Christian therapist can walk with you through the layers of confusion and comparison. They can help you find clarity in your disordered thinking and overcome your tendency to body-shame yourself. They can help you finally find rest from the emotional fatigue of social media.

Unfollow the world

It’s time to unfollow the world and start following Jesus. Your freedom from comparison and self-doubt starts with seeing yourself through the true eyes of love and leaving the false narratives and filtered images behind. Open your Bible and shut down your screen to start renewing your mind and spirit in the authentic love of Christ and your true community, those who love you offline.

If you need further help overcoming body image distortions due to social media, contact our office today. Let us schedule an appointment for you with one of the Christian counselors in our network who can help you find freedom in Christ’s love for you.

Photo:
“Group Pic”, Courtesy of Getty Images, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License

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Articles are intended for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice; the content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All opinions expressed by authors and quoted sources are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, publishers or editorial boards of Stone Oak Christian Counseling. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk.

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