Surviving Infidelity: 4 Effects of Adultery on a Relationship

The bond that allows for a relationship to flourish is trust. Trust takes time to develop, as two people experience each other in different settings and gradually come to see that they are reliable in ways that matter. That trust enables the relationship to deepen because it allows people to be vulnerable with each other and be honest at the risk of rejection. Over time, the relationship deepens, and the bond shared gets stronger, which is one reason why adultery is so terrible.

When infidelity occurs, it strikes at the trust that has been built over many months or years. It can make one question whether the relationship was real to begin with, and if there is a future for the relationship. This is to say nothing of the deep hurt it causes because of the betrayal and all it implies. When infidelity occurs, it leaves the people connected to the relationship in need of asking critical questions about what has happened, and what comes next.

Making sense of adultery

Adultery can be complex, in the sense that any two people off the street may not agree on what constitutes infidelity. People come from different religious, ethnic, cultural, and intellectual backgrounds, and they have a broad range of life experiences that have shaped them and how they do life. One person might consider sending a private message on social media to an ex to be problematic, while another person might not.

Of course, in a relationship, you’re not dealing with two random people off the street. It’s two people who have been walking alongside one another for some time, and they have been exposed to each other’s understanding of life and the world around them. It is true, though, that sometimes couples make assumptions and never properly discuss what constitutes infidelity. There may be agreement on certain things, but none on specific circumstances.

Some people would consider sharing your deepest secrets with someone an act of intimacy, and it’s an act of infidelity if the person you’re sharing with isn’t your spouse or partner. This is called emotional infidelity. Infidelity can take other forms as well, and one’s partner may have boundaries that are violated through sexual or other contact with another person.

Sometimes, couples find that previously undiscussed boundaries have been violated, but at that point, the damage to the relationship has already been done. This is why the question “What do you consider cheating?” is an important one to ask in any romantic relationship because our society and culture don’t seem to have a consensus about these things. Infidelity is devastating, and such open conversations are necessary to get on the same page.

The impact of adultery on a relationship

When infidelity occurs, it’s common for the person who’s been cheated upon to experience a grief-like response. Adultery can have a profound impact on a relationship, including some of the following:

Destroying trust

An affair of whatever sort is a betrayal of trust; one that can be difficult to repair. With trust eroded, physical and emotional intimacy are likely to suffer, because those are the very areas of the relationship that have been violated. Trust will need to be rebuilt, and that road will require many changes and accountability.

Emotional trauma

Infidelity results in hurt, anger, and feelings of abandonment in the person who has been cheated on. If there are children in the picture, they too can feel hurt by what’s happened, and it can affect their well-being. The affair will require intentional work toward healing.

Communication breakdown

When trust is shattered, honesty, vulnerability, and openness may be challenging to reestablish. Communication requires you to believe what the other person is saying to you, and an affair makes that a huge, if not impossible, leap to make. The affair can lead to a crisis in the relationship, leading to separation or divorce if it’s left unaddressed.

Feelings of insecurity

The betrayed partner may be left questioning their own worth and the viability of the relationship. Infidelity pulls the rug out from under the betrayed partner and the relationship, and the things that felt certain are immediately questionable and unsafe.

Working through the aftermath of infidelity will require the couple to understand what happened and why it happened. Though there may be reasons why the affair occurred, it is a choice that one should take full responsibility for. Forgiveness is a part of the healing process, but it may take time, and some wounds may never fully heal. For change and recovery from infidelity to happen, effort and commitment from both partners are needed.

Surviving Infidelity: Getting Help

Every situation in which adultery occurs is unique, and the effects of adultery on a marriage or relationship can vary. If you’re facing this challenge, consider seeking guidance from a professional counselor or therapist in McKinney, Texas.

Surviving infidelity is possible. Your counselor at McKinney Christian Counseling in Texas can help you to make sense of what happened and how to navigate the healing process so that your relationship emerges stronger and more committed than before.

For more information and to schedule an appointment with a counselor or therapist at McKinney Christian Counseling, contact us today.