Teen Help For Parents of Troubled Teens

Teens go through major physical and emotional changes as they transition into adulthood. Growth spurts triggered by surges in hormones can contribute to mood swings, as can changes still happening in their brains. A teen’s brain is wired differently from a mature adult’s brain. It is still in the process of developing and being restructured, and does not reach full maturity until the mid-20s.

The prefrontal cortex, which is the area primarily responsible for executive functions such as decision-making, self-control, and emotional regulation, is still forming new synapses. As a result, teens are often unable to think through things on an adult level and may be prone to making poor decisions and acting impulsively.

It is also the reason why teens differ from adults in their ability to interpret emotional cues in the facial expressions of others and tend to misread them. Whereas the adult brain uses the prefrontal cortex to do this, teens rely on the amygdala, which is the part of the brain responsible for emotional reactions.

Typical Teen Behavior Versus Troubled Teen Ones

Changing Appearance Keeping up with fashion trends is important to teens because it helps build their confidence, enables them to express their individuality, and is a way of fitting in with their peers. It only becomes a red flag when it is accompanied by negative changes in behavior, problems at school, self-harm, or extreme weight loss or weight gain.

Arguments and Rebellious Behavior As teens start striving to become independent, they may argue and butt heads with you. It only becomes a red flag if the arguments escalate, your teen becomes violent, gets into fights, or has run-ins with the law.

Mood Swings and Irritability Rapid growth and hormonal changes in teens often lead to mood swings, irritability, and trouble managing their emotions. It becomes a red flag only if it is accompanied by rapid, uncharacteristic changes in personality, falling grades at school, persistent sadness, symptoms of anxiety or depression, or suicidal thoughts.

Substance Abuse Most teens at some point will smoke a cigarette, try alcohol, or even marijuana. It is only a red flag when usage becomes habitual and is accompanied by problems at home or school.

Red Flags That Should Not Be Ignored

Red flags that should not be ignored include a sudden change in peer groups to one that encourages negative behavior, refusal to obey reasonable rules, spending too much time alone, or lying to avoid the consequences of bad behavior.

Teen Help Steps You Can Take at Home

Connect with your teen The first, most important step is to find a way to connect with your teen and what he or she is experiencing. This may require time, effort, and considerable patience. Stay calm even when your attempts to start a conversation are rejected and greeted by anger, indifference, irritation, or a sarcastic put-down.

Try to find areas of common ground you can talk about peaceably, to help your teen feel more comfortable about opening up to you about other topics. When he or she does open up, give him or her your full attention, validate his or her feelings, and listen empathetically without judging, criticizing, interrupting, or offering advice.

Deal with anger Anger is often a mask to cover up other emotions such as fear, shame, frustration, or feelings of inadequacy or vulnerability. Your challenge, as a parent, is to help your teen learn how to deal with his or her anger more constructively.

At a time when you are both calm, establish clear boundaries, rules, and expectations. Explain to your teen that it is okay to feel angry, but lashing out, for instance, is an unacceptable way of expressing it, and let him or her know what the consequences will be if he or she continues to do so.

Try to help your teen understand what is behind his or her anger and identify what triggers it, as well as what the warning signs are that he or she is starting to boil, so he or she can take steps to defuse it before it gets out of hand.

Help your teen find healthy ways to relieve his or her anger, such as running, exercising, dancing to loud, angry music, punching a pillow, or engaging in something creative, such as journaling or art. It is also important to allow him or her to move to a different space to cool off, without following him or her or demanding an apology or explanation. This may only cause the anger to escalate or provoke an act of violence.

Finally, it is also important to manage your own anger appropriately and model the behavior you want your teen to adopt. No matter how much he or she provokes you, it is important to stay calm and balanced in his or her presence.

Recognize signs of depression Signs of depression in teens can include a drop in grades and cutting classes at school, running away from home, substance abuse, low self-esteem, excessive smartphone use, engaging in reckless behavior, or becoming aggressive or violent.

Add balance to your teen’s life Add balance to your teen’s life by creating structure. This can include regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and wake-up times, limiting the amount of time he or she has access to electronic devices, and restricting phone use after a certain time at night, encouraging some regular form of exercise, and ensuring your teen is eating healthy meals and getting enough sleep.

Professional Teen Help Treatment Options

Teen help is not one-size-fits-all. Though the ultimate goal is to help teens cope with the problems they are experiencing and function better in their day-to-day life, every teen’s needs are individual and specific, and every treatment option has both pros and cons. The following are some of the different alternatives available.

Outpatient Counseling Outpatient counseling is a good option for teens who do not pose a risk to themselves or others, and whose home environment is not one that would hamper their progress. It provides a safe, unbiased space in which they can express their feelings openly without fear of judgment, work through difficult emotional issues, and learn healthy coping skills for managing triggers and stressful situations.

Two of the most popular, evidence-based forms of counseling are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

The premise of cognitive behavioral therapy is that there is a clear link between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and that changing the way you think changes the way you feel and act. This makes it especially effective for troubled teens, who often have distorted core beliefs about themselves. CBT therapy focuses on helping them recognize these distortions and learn how to confront them and replace them with more positive, realistic thoughts.

Dialectical behavior therapy is a modified form of CBT that focuses on helping teens gain greater self-acceptance, improve communication skills, and learn coping skills to improve their ability to tolerate distress, handle emotional discomfort, and regulate their emotions.

Inpatient hospitalization Inpatient hospitalization is a recommended short-term treatment option when you believe your teen’s life is in danger. It provides full-time support and monitoring in a lockdown unit with no access to sharp objects, which eliminates potential harm to self or others. It can be a wise choice for teens who are engaging in self-harm behaviors, have thoughts of suicide, or pose a threat to themselves or others.

Wilderness therapy programs Wilderness therapy is an empowering therapeutic experience that provides teens with a timeout from the environment and pressures that trigger their behaviors.

It involves spending one to three months in a backwoods setting where teens learn survival and camping skills, and engage in various challenges and teamwork that help build confidence, self-reliance, problem-solving skills, resilience, and enhance communication and social skills.

If you have questions about this article on teen help or would like to set up a risk-free appointment to meet with one of the faith-based counselors at this location, please give us a call.