Faith-Based Advice for New Moms in the First Two Years

When you read about advice for new moms on motherhood websites, you may encounter a ton of baby counsel: how to swaddle or use the Shhh method to help your infant sleep, whether or not to integrate formula into your breastfeeding routine, or where to find the safest baby products.

However, what’s a new mom to do after those first three to nine months? What if you suddenly hit the 14-month-old stage and you don’t know what to do? You’ve never encountered it, and none of your friends, parents, or grandparents mentioned the need for advice at this stage.

The first two years can be a challenge, causing you to search for advice for new moms with little luck or certainty. What a trained counselor will tell you, though, may differ from what your friends, parents, or grandparents say. Here are some of our best tips and advice for new moms this year.

Don’t compare your experience to that of others

Your experience of motherhood is your own, and their advice, however well-meaning it is, will not necessarily equip you for greatness. Our encouragement is to trust your instinct, research reputable websites such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, and talk to your doctor frequently during the first two years of your baby’s life.

Lean on the resources your local community center or medical practices offer, too. If there’s a free clinic on how to care for your toddler when he isn’t yet verbal, sign up for it. If you wonder whether your friend’s ability to get her 18-month-old to sleep for a solid two-hour nap every afternoon means you’re a failure because yours doesn’t nap well, go easy on yourself.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and it can rob you of an important milestone in a mother’s life: being a confident mom in how you and your spouse choose to parent.

Focus on what encourages you during this season of parenting

You’ll notice that some of this stage involves caring for a cute, cuddly baby or a toddler who speaks in baby-speak that’s adorable. It’s also filled with moments that are stressful and, honestly, can cause you to scratch your head and wonder what to do. By deciding to focus on what encourages you, you’re front-loading your brain wiring with positivity and gratitude for how good this season is.

When we focus on negative aspects of a certain season, it can weigh us down and make the hardships feel even more difficult than they are. We’re not saying to deny that tough day or those moments when you’re overwhelmed. Acknowledge them and advocate for more of what you enjoy at this stage.

It might be remembering that you love the Saturday morning snuggles you get from your 15-month-old still in footie pajamas. Or you could remind yourself that even though your child doesn’t sleep consistently for naps, it means you’re able to connect over a toy or a trip to the park that brings you outdoors. These can give you some fresh air with zero guilt about basking in the sunshine.

Remember that your needs are more important than basic survival

While it’s tempting to put higher-level needs on the back burner during this stage of parenting, it’s important to keep these needs front and center each month. Basic survival needs are important; you need rest, healthy nutrition, and a safe, secure place to lay your head at night.

But you need more than that, too. It’s okay to ask for a few hours of alone time every week because you’re an introvert who needs that solo time to recharge. Or perhaps your need for fulfillment is finding a way to continue to give back, even though your time is limited with a young child.

Is there a way to serve at your local church or community nonprofit that you can do from home? Even if you’ve always served in person in the past, many organizations need back-end help with administrative tasks, special projects, etc. You may even consider creating your own way to give back during this season. Consider something like sending cards to lonely senior citizens

Your needs include feelings of accomplishment, appreciation, and friendship, too. Don’t forget to call a friend just to see how she’s doing or send a voice memo to say hi. These can be quick and easy ways to maintain friendships when you’re both in the busy season of young parenting.

Get a one-line-a-day journal to record milestones and everyday moments that make you grateful

Whether you purchase a pre-made one or simply get a notebook and date each entry, get into the practice of noticing. Being aware of the good and the hard things during this season is important.

First, noticing the hard will help you acknowledge how you’re truly feeling in a given moment. No one else can negate your feelings. They’re yours to own and reflect upon, and they don’t need to be defended. Second, noticing the good will help you look back on this season with fondness without overselling it to your future self.

As children grow older, we have a tendency to look back on a particular season of parenting with rose-colored glasses. We remember the good stuff without the details, and a one-line-a-day journal can give you just enough context to say, “Hey, that was a good day, but it was also at a time when my inner reserves were stretched to the max.”

A one-line-a-day journal is a low ask. When you are in this stage of parenting, it can feel taxing to attempt a long Bible study or even to capture your child’s photos every week or month. Instead, jot down your highs and lows in one line a day, so you’ll be treating yourself with kindness because it’s a realistic way to journal right now.

Work in fun

Fun is paramount during this time because you can lose your sense of wonder and excitement amid diaper changes and food battles. It’s also important for the health of your child.

Talk to your child, even if you know he or she is too young to comprehend all of what you’re saying. This helps your child understand your level of care and compassion. Children also form many of their communication strengths simply by watching and hearing their parents speak to them.

Have a conversation with your 1-year-old about the beautiful weather outside or tell him the story of how you and your spouse chose the dog’s name. And as your child gets older, try to make laborious, run-of-the-mill tasks fun for you and your child.

Do you need to go to the post office? While waiting in line, have a snack together and count the Cheerios as you eat them. Are you stuck in traffic? Sing a song together or find a children’s story on your library app to listen to while you wait. If you’re folding laundry, let your child help, even if it means doing the task twice. Letting your child help makes it a fun job for him or her and provides a sense of accomplishment.

Try not to think of household chores as a checklist

Remember: no one is standing by your bedside each night with a tally sheet to check off your household chores. If you dig the laundry out of the basket for an extra day or two, it isn’t going to hurt anyone. And the fun you had with your young child is worth the extended timeline.

You Don’t Have to Walk Through This Alone.

If you’re struggling during this season of motherhood, there are counselors who know how to help. Contact the office today for additional advice for new moms and to make an appointment with a counselor near you.