When they first have their children, many couples vow to never be like their parents. When people have children at a young age, they don’t appreciate all the things parents bring to a relationship. Even if they had a tumultuous relationship with their family, it’s easy to want to avoid becoming like them. Good parenting advice can help.
However, every parent must strive to be a healthy role model for their children. Part of this process is to analyze their relationship with their parents and identify strengths and weaknesses so they can do better than their parents did in years past.
Here are three ways a parent can become a healthy role model for their children:
Recognize the Weaknesses
When analyzing your relationship with your parents, the first thing to do is recognize their shortcomings. Each parent has had to deal with a different generation and culture than their parents and grandparents. It is essential to contextualize why your parents did what they did if you understand what culture was like then.
For example, children raised in years past were taught different rules for respect. Parents acted as authority figures, and men did little to raise their children.
Although there are significant advancements in parenting today, parents didn’t realize that that was detrimental to their kid’s health back then. You need to understand and have compassion for where your parents were. They were following what culture dictated to them at that time.
Similarly, mothers in generations past were discouraged from working outside the home. Their primary role was to care for the children and manage their home. While this is a beautiful occupation to this day, not every woman wants that. It is more encouraged for women to get a job now than it ever was.
Your mother may have stayed home. Having said this, she may have harbored secret resentment over having to stay home instead of pursuing her own career goals. Understand that your mother may have been angrier because she had her issues to deal with, including problems with her parents that she may not have verbalized to you.
Embrace Your Strengths
While it is essential to recognize your parents’ weaknesses, embracing their strengths is also important. What did your mother and father do well? Looking back on your childhood, what were some things you were glad your parents did with you? What were your parents like compared to other parents their age?
Were your parents more directly involved in your lives than other, more hands-off parents? Even if you liked a hands-off parent as a child, you may have come to appreciate your parent’s involvement in your life today. Embrace your strengths and brainstorm ways that you can incorporate those strengths into your current parenting model.
Don’t Be Their Friend
The most important thing to remember as a parent is not to be your kid’s friend. While it is essential today for many parents to act like their child can talk to him about anything and often forget their role as parents, you must establish authority with your kids. Kids need strong parents who will give them healthy boundaries and let them know how to navigate life. Even if your kids resent you for it as children, they will grow up to appreciate you as they become adults. Be the parent they can go to as adults to help them navigate the complex parts of adulthood.
Therapy Offers Good Parenting Advice
Kids need healthy role models as parents. Understand your relationship with your past and strive to be the parent you always wanted.
For more information or to learn more about parenting strategies, contact our office today. We can set an appointment for you with the professional counselors or therapists at our location.
“Aerial photography of sea”, Courtesy of Jeffrey Hamilton, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
- Michelle Lazurek: Author
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award winning author, speaker, pastor's wife and mother. She is a regular contributor for ibelieve.com and crosswalk.com and is a movie review...
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